I used to always ask myself, “why can’t I feel anything when I’m with women.”

“Why do I feel so empty when I’m with them?”

“When I hold their hand, why do I feel nothing?”

“When they tell me they love me, why do their words fall on deaf ears?”

This is not what the movies showed me…I was promised that when I kiss a woman, there would be magic in the air, but there was always only ever disappointment.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, it felt nice physically, but I always thought there should be something more, something beyond just physical pleasure.

But I never felt that, everything always only ever felt empty and meaningless.

And so I thought there had to be something severely wrong with me, because I experienced such intense sexual attraction to women, but never romantic attraction.

I could kiss them, but not hold them.

I could fuck them, but not make love to them.

I could like them, but not love them.

I Thought I Was A Psychopath

I even thought I was a psychopath.

I thought I was broken.

I even thought I might be gay.

I thought there was something wrong with me, but there was nothing wrong with me, but rather, there was something wrong with them.

It wasn’t that I was incapable of loving a woman, but that the women that surrounded me didn’t deserve to be loved.

The problem wasn’t me, but the mediocrity of the women who surrounded me.

They were all uneducated, undisciplined, and unintelligent.

And that type of woman I could simply never love.

For me to love a woman, she would need to have not only a beautiful face, but a beautiful mind.

But the women who surrounded me did not have beautiful minds, they were uneducated and incompetent.

Ultimately, I used to think I was incapable of loving a woman, but the problem wasn’t that I was incapable of loving a woman, but that I was incapable of loving the women around me.

So to the men out there for whom this story resonates, and for those who find it difficult to love a woman, the problem may not be you, but the women who surround you.